A little talk with the cellar
Me: I’m glad you all could make it to the meeting today. We need to go over a game plan because as you know the holiday season is upon us and you’re all an important part of keeping everything festive.
Pinot Grigio: Don’t I know it! Last year about wiped me out, but as everyone’s go-to, I’m ready to roll. Just say the word. (kicks her pink high heeled shoes onto the table)
Chardonnay: Hold up there, missy. There’s a lot more going on over here. Just because the oaky-buttery thing is out of style doesn’t mean Chardonnay can’t handle her own. They’re making me a lot lighter these days and I go great with all the holiday foods.
Me: True, Chard, but we have a lot of other players on our team. Rhone?
(Viognier, Rousanne, and Marsanne look up lazily from their iPhones)
Me: I’m going to lean on you three on Thanksgiving so be chilled and ready.
Gamay: OK well, my big Beaujolais Nouveau coming out day this year is one week before Thanksgiving, so if you need a light red...
Pinot Noir: (interrupts) Really? Are you suggesting Beaujolais Nouveau?
Gamay: Well, it’s there and it’s cheap and I’m not saying it’s my best expression; Cru Beaujolais is more the face I’d like to put forward at gatherings like this, but if there’s any plan for sangria or mass quantities, I just want to put Nouveau out there. It’s timely and celebratory.
Pinot Noir: (snorts)
Me: Ok, guys. Let’s not get heated- you know how bad that is for you.
Merlot: Yes, let’s keep our cool. I’ve been snubbed ever since that “Sideways” movie so I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of negative press.
Cabernet Sauvignon: I don’t know what that’s like personally, but I imagine it leaves a nasty taste....like sour grapes?
Merlot: Funny, Cab. But really, it’s given me time to regroup and now I’m better than ever- I’m being planted only where I should be now and overall my quality has improved exponentially.
Cabernet Sauvignon: True, and it’s so cool to blend with you these days. Don’t you love hanging out with Petite Verdot and all the other guys? Red blends are so trendy...I was getting bored being saved for steak all the time.
Me: You’re right, Cab, and we’ll be bringing in some blends for the red fans at parties since they’re so approachable. And bubbles? Where are the bubbles?
Zinfandel: They’re all up in the 45 degree section in case of unannounced guests- but we’ve got them on speaker phone.
Bubbles: We’re here!
Me: Cava, Prosecco, Franciacorta, Brachetto, Asti, we’re going to need all of you and the Cremants from France, too. Everyone needs to be ready for anything and I admire your dedication to staying cool. Good work.
Champagne: Yes? Right here.
Me: New Year’s is your night, but be ready all season. I’m going to need the little 187ml and 375ml bottles in the crisper drawer for the next few months for bubbles-on-demand, ok?
Champagne: Got it!
Me: Kosher crew? We’ve got a solid eight days to plan for Hanukkah, and you’ve all come a long way from the Manischewitz days. We have a lot to choose from; many are award winners. I‘m lookin’ at you, Hagafen cellars- so let’s show what we can do in early December.
Kosher wines: We’re ready all the time, you know. Not just for holidays.
Me: Good point, and you’re delicious so be ready all season.
Sauvignon Blanc: I’m ready for the seven-fishes Christmas Eve thing- you want California this year, right?
Me: Yes. And for Christmas day it’s an all-play; everyone will be on offer all day, but we’ll need Syrah at the table for the prime rib.
Syrah: (sets down the dumbbell he’s been pumping throughout the meeting)
I’m ready! Maybe my bros can come too? Like, Grenache and Mourvedre from back in Chareauneuf-du-Pape?
Me: Sure. They’ll fit right in. Ok, we’ve got a plan, everyone. Now just lay on your sides, keep your corks wet, and stay cool. It’s going to be a great holiday season.